Svutlana Recommend Do-IT-Yourself Project

Svutlana,

I am a 25 year-old single female. I have never had an orgasm. There have been times where I've felt this build up, and its like I'm on the verge, and then nothing happens. What can I do to make that final leap, or is there anything I could get the guy to do to help push me over the ledge?

I have even had no orgasm through masturbation, and the reason behind that is because I am, I guess you could say strange, in the fact that I don't masturbate....I never have, I just mentally view it as "If I have a man doing the job for me, then why should I do it myself?" type attitude.

At the verge and ready to jump

Dear Ms Verge.

Thank you too much for orgasmic question and for share how you feel about masturbate, Ms Verge. Unfortunate, Svutlana vice for you be for masturbate because no man will ever do job for you. Your orgasm be entire your responsibility. For some reasons, many womens miss this concept complete with think, "Be marry me for ten year and husband never give me orgasm!" as if orgasm be gift husband give them and if no give orgasm, they just have for wait until husband final come up with combination for magical unlock them. Eventual, they begin for think husband be stupid. 

Mens no be stupid and no too many mens be locksmith. You can no expect mens for know your orgasm combination if you no know it yourself, Ms Verge. It be up for you for unlock your orgasm with masturbate where it just be you and buzz machine and there be no pressures for perform. And it be particular important for you for masturbate now because you have many experiences where you be close and nothing happen. You be in pre-orgasm plateau stage that be extreme fragile, Ms Verge. Any thought of "Oh my God!!! Be me on ledge about for fall in for orgasm! Hopeful boyfriend will give me good push! And if boyfriend push me over ledge, what will orgasm feel like? Will lose me control when jump? What be about for happen? And what if again no happen?" will scare orgasm complete away.

Need you for relax and full enjoy experience you be in rather than think about exact what stage of sexual arousal you be in. Enjoy where you be and welcome whatever come next. Guarantee me, since you brand yourself as 25 year-old female who never have orgasm, relax with partner and enjoy moment will be extreme difficult for you.

Therefore, Svutlana be right back where start with vice for masturbate. Betty Dodson can help. Ms Betty no come for house for help you masturbate, but she write book about masturbate that will help you.

warm regard you too much and have fun with find orgasm,

Svutlana

Be it possible for be too good at sex?

Svutlana, 


I have been with my boyfriend for six months and I have tried to give him blow jobs on a regular basis, but I fail horribly at them. Just as he gets to the peak, it starts to get too sensitive for him, and I have to stop. I have only made him cum once through oral methods, despite my many attempts. He doesn't care and says that "sex is much better" but I feel like I am failing him as a girlfriend. Whenever I ask him about it, he says that it is the opposite and that I am "too good" Is that even possible?

Dear Ms Too Good,

Thank you too much for your question in which you lament fact you be too good with give horrible blow job. Have you never experience similar situation where there be mens between your leg who be busy busy with provide oral pleasures then all of a sudden it turn in for pancakes? It be great when pancake arrive, but all of sudden you can absolute no stand for take one more bites. Your clitoris get similar sated and there be nothing for do except stop stimulations immediate and wait until calm down.

It be same with your boyfriend and blow jobs. Boyfriend gashooshlank get overstimulate and he must stop you. You be neither too good nor failure, Ms Too Good. It be about your boyfriend physiology and preferences, no about you. That be said, you may want for change approach. No go gangbusters with blow jobs as if it be house specialty and you must serve it up in copious quantities no matter what. 

Just give boyfriend amuse bouche blow job, Ms Too Good, and vary presentations. Work around area and involve testicles because for sure they feel left out.

But most of all, no believe hype about blow jobs, Ms Too Good. There be mens who love blow jobs too much and no get blow jobs. These blowphiliac mens scream and yell and jump up and down with do blow job dance and drown out mens who simple like blow job but prefer something else. 

Final, Svutlana feel compel for make comment about boyfriend line that "sex is much better". You think sex-that-be-much-better be blow job and boyfriend think sex-that-be-much-better be intercourse and you both be wrong. In Svutlana opinion, everything be sex and sex be everything. Most of world sex problem can be solve if we stop with put boundary on sex like it be our privates country with flag, anthem and, worst of all, acts of patriotism that we try for impose on others.

Svutlana

Is my fantasy strange, normal or just kinky?

Svutlana,

I'm an ass man so I like to be behind my gf during sex.  But I also have a major oral fixation.  I loooooove to watch a woman suck d**k.  The more d**ks the better.  When I'm having sex with my gf, and behind her (where I like to be), I often fantasize that she's sucking off a group of guys while we f**k.  Am I just totally strange or is this at all normal, or at least just kinky?

Dear Mr **,

Thank you for asking Svutlana to tell you how kinky you are. The best part of being a sex advice columnist is that you get to tell complete strangers if they are normal or  totally f**king weird. Being an arbiter of sexual normalcy is a responsibility Svutlana takes very seriously. The only thing f**king weird about you, Mr **, is that you can tell Svutlana about imagining your girlfriend sucking countless d**ks while you f**k her, but you can't bring yourself to hit the keys ic and uc.

Your fantasy is beautiful because it comes naturally to you and works well with your favorite sexual position. Maybe you were behind your girlfriend one day and your mind wandered a bit as can happen when you do something repetitive like data entry or f**k. You noticed your girlfriend's mouth had nothing to do, so you imagined assorted jobs she could perform with other men. As soon as this thought entered your mind it sent electrical pulses of transgressive excitement to your penis and you got off on it. 

The stimulus of your transgressive thought was associated with an orgasmic response and, after few more repetitions of thinking same thought in same position with the same result, your sexual fantasy became conditioned. So far, everything is exactly as it should be. The problem occurred when your everyday mind examined your sexual fantasy. Your everyday mind that pays bills and washes your hair and runs errands looked at your sex fantasy and got scared. A sex fantasy where your girlfriend sucks on an assembly line of d**ks upset your everyday mind because your everyday mind likes to keep everything tidy with one payment for one bill and one d**k for one orifice.

Your everyday mind thinks your sex fantasy means that you're a little bit crazy and maybe this craziness will somehow seep into your everyday mind and f**k up your entire life as you try to recruit d**ks for your girlfriend to suck through your connections on LinkedIn. Your everyday mind has no idea what to do except check with someone like Svutlana to see if you're crazy or just kinky in way that is limited to your sex life.

Your everyday mind just tries to protect you with its own brand of crazy. You asked Svutlana to evaluate your sexual fantasy. Your fantasy is on Svutlana's personal sex fantasy frequency distribution and if Svutlana is normal, so are you.

OMG!! I just wrote a blog post in proper English! Svutlana no exact be normal, Mr **.

warm regard you too much!

Svutlana

Vice for testicles that be out of step

Svutlana,
I have this thing where I really enjoy a woman stepping on my balls. Although it does NOT hurt, when I was a lot younger, it was easy to get a woman to do this act. As I get older, it becomes harder to have a woman agree to do it. Is there any help you can provide?

Dear Mr Steps,

Thank you too much for testicular question that absolute NO hurt, Mr Steps, but for sure make balls of peoples who read (and some ovaries) assume defensive postures. It seem for me that as womens get more old she have more experiences with testicles, and as womens have more testicular experiences she can no help but feel empathy for balls. Or maybe all womens feel sorry for older balls. Who know? All Svutlana know be, when have empathy for anything, it be more difficult for step on it.

That be said, Svutlana have no problems with step on your balls if you tell me how for step on and assure me it no hurt you one little bits. It be like mens who like Svutlana for make little plate with sardine, hot peppers and blue cheeses. If say you like, Svutlana prepare for you even if wonder what for fuck.

Simple need you for find womens like Svutlana with open minds who believe you when you say your balls be make with special indestructible materials that also be use for make black box in airplane. Be sure for give this womens explicit instructions with tell her how for step on your balls. For sure you no want stiletto heel for impale your scrotal sac, but maybe flip flop feel nice for balls.

Sometime we get all freak out about ourself and our strange desires and we unconscious attract peoples who confirm we be total bat shit weird. Think maybe you need for repeat positive affirmation, Mr Steps. "Mr Steps be magnet for womens who loooove for step on testicles!" Place this affirmation on sticky note all around home and repeat for self one hundred time each days.

If you do affirmation for thirty day and ball step womens no start for form line outside your front door with bounce up and down on their toes, Svutlana recommend you ask Betty White.

warm regard you too much,

Svutlana

Three's a Creep

Svutlana,

My boyfriend's best friend is a nice guy but he is kinda creepy. He is constantly making sexual remarks about me and is always suggesting that he becomes involved in our sex life. On more than one occasion, he has asked my boyfriend if he would be able to video tape or just watch us have sex. Although, this sometimes does excite me, I feel like this could cause huge problem between my boyfriend and I as well as cause awkwardness between us and my boyfriend's friend. Should this situation be avoided?  Have you gone through with something similar to this? please tell me.  

Dear Ms Creepy,

Thank you too much for creepy question, Ms Creepy. For be honest, no, Svutlana never let partner creepy best friend watch us make happy happy. It seem for me that this situation can be easily avoid unless creepy friend have basic knowledge of surveillance technique.

Cameras be extreme tiny these day, Ms Creepy. Every time Svutlana go for Best Western hotel, wonder me if this also be title for porno webcast of amateur couplings that get broadcast from hotel every evening between 10pm and 1am for laptops all over world.

Excite me little bit this, but it no necessary mean Svutlana want for be star of Best Western. Where be me?

Vice Svutlana have for you and everybody who read Svutlana blog be for always follow your sexual intuitions. If you feel like boyfriend best friend could cause huge problem with boyfriend and awkwardness all around, he definite will. Situation should therefore be avoid because guarantee me, boyfriend best friend no be happy with just watch you if there be opportunities for audience participations.

warm regard you too much,

Svutlana